Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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