I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
