my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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