i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
