Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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