considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
