I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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