I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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