question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
