he puts the penis in happiness.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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