Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
