I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
