Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
