And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
