South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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