Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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