I want to have your abortion
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
