Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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