I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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