she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
