Non-Jews are for practice
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
