Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
