overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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