"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Sponge bath it is.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
