She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
