I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
