Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
