no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
