If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
