do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just had sex bonerless
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
