Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
