i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Randomize
