your room smells of hookers.
And success
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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