How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
is wine microwaveable?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize