This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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