physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
