I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
