We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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