Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Operation Purity has been aborted
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
