And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
