so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she peed on how many people?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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