I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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