No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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