and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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