she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
