Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
