i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
