My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
