I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
