Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
