I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
