Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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